Archive for December, 2015
The mystic mutt’s predictions for 2016
January
An asteroid narrowly misses the Earth. Labour issues a press release with the shocking revelation that in the event of a global mass extinction, the SNP have failed to ensure that five million beds are available in the Scottish NHS. Worse, the Scottish Government have done nothing to invest in flood defences to protect the country from the 2000 metre high tsunami that would follow a rock the size of Labour’s sense of entitlement plunging into the North Atlantic. The Daily Record prints an editorial saying that the demise of the SNP in the polls is only a matter of time.
February
Following the news that a teenager in Paisley had to wait three hours in A&E with a saucepan stuck on his head, the BBC’s Reporting Scotland broadcasts a special edition about the crisis in the NHS and the inability of the teenager’s maw to make the dinner…
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The stink of a dead goldfish
Dianne Abbott,Labour’s shadow International Development Secretary, has upset the pouters and pettit lips of Labour in Scotland – which to be fair isn’t hard to do – by pointing out the bleedin obvious. All she said is that Labour is screwed and won’t get itself unscrewed in time for May’s Holyrood election. And it’s blatantly clear to any observer of Scottish politics that the entire contents of B&Q’s tools department isn’t enough to unscrew Labour in Scotland. Give the party access to the contents of your average DIY store, and they’d only use the spades to dig themselves even deeper into the hole that they’re in.
A nameless spokespouter huffed that no one pays any attention to Dianne Abbott in Scotland, adding that she doesn’t have a clue about Scottish politics. Sadly for the pouter, you could say exactly the same about the Labour party in Scotland, which goes a…
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Tory MP – accused of faking death threat – releases and then deletes patronising video
Tory MP Lucy Allan – who is accused of faking a death threat from a constituent – posted a condescending video on her Facebook page yesterday attacking constituents who had complained to her about it:
But oh look, today Allan’s deleted it:
.
Unsurprisingly, Allan’s ill-judged hubris had received hundreds and hundreds of negative comments from her constituents.
So well done Lucy.
Insulting your constituents probably not the best way to get reelected.
Alistair Carmichael and his amazing incendiary underpants
I wasn’t going to blog anything today, because I’ve got packing to do and have to take the dug to stay with friends in Glenboig before I go away first thing tomorrow morning. But the fact that we live in a country where not only is it deemed acceptable for a politician to lie to the electorate, but that same politician plays hard done by for being called out for his lies. It’s not the betrayed who are the wronged, it’s the betrayer. It’s not the deceived who are the victims, it’s the deceiver. It’s not the cheated who are the casualties, it’s the cheater. British democracy lies bruised and bleeding, kicked in the teeth by elected politicians who cry like weans when the punters dare to want to hold them to account. Don’t get above your station little people, here are some shiny lies.
Alistair Carmichael is a liar…
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Has anyone seen Kezia?
Has anyone seen Kezia? She’s as elusive as Johann Lamont was she was branch office manager of Labour in Scotland. Kezia is as elusive as Jim Murphy was ubiquitous. Every day Jim stood on an Irn Bru crate before the fawning ranks of the Scottish press to announce policies on things like the exploration of Mars and how alien life forms seeking to parasitise humanity would be totally different from a Labour MP’s expense claims. Jim’s policies may well have been as fictitious as the existence of the Scottish Labour party, but the one thing you couldn’t accuse him of was being shy of proferring an opinion – even if that opinion was invariably that the SNP was terribly, terribly bad, and that in Jim’s view Jim was the best thing to happen to Scotland since the country emerged from underneath the melting glaciers at the end of the Ice…
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