Archive for December, 2015
An asteroid narrowly misses the Earth. Labour issues a press release with the shocking revelation that in the event of a global mass extinction, the SNP have failed to ensure that five million beds are available in the Scottish NHS. Worse, the Scottish Government have done nothing to invest in flood defences to protect the country from the 2000 metre high tsunami that would follow a rock the size of Labour’s sense of entitlement plunging into the North Atlantic. The Daily Record prints an editorial saying that the demise of the SNP in the polls is only a matter of time.
Following the news that a teenager in Paisley had to wait three hours in A&E with a saucepan stuck on his head, the BBC’s Reporting Scotland broadcasts a special edition about the crisis in the NHS and the inability of the teenager’s maw to make the dinner…
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Dianne Abbott,Labour’s shadow International Development Secretary, has upset the pouters and pettit lips of Labour in Scotland – which to be fair isn’t hard to do – by pointing out the bleedin obvious. All she said is that Labour is screwed and won’t get itself unscrewed in time for May’s Holyrood election. And it’s blatantly clear to any observer of Scottish politics that the entire contents of B&Q’s tools department isn’t enough to unscrew Labour in Scotland. Give the party access to the contents of your average DIY store, and they’d only use the spades to dig themselves even deeper into the hole that they’re in.
A nameless spokespouter huffed that no one pays any attention to Dianne Abbott in Scotland, adding that she doesn’t have a clue about Scottish politics. Sadly for the pouter, you could say exactly the same about the Labour party in Scotland, which goes a…
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Tory MP Lucy Allan – who is accused of faking a death threat from a constituent – posted a condescending video on her Facebook page yesterday attacking constituents who had complained to her about it:
But oh look, today Allan’s deleted it:
Unsurprisingly, Allan’s ill-judged hubris had received hundreds and hundreds of negative comments from her constituents.
So well done Lucy.
Insulting your constituents probably not the best way to get reelected.