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Wee Ginger Dug

An asteroid narrowly misses the Earth. Labour issues a press release with the shocking revelation that in the event of a global mass extinction, the SNP have failed to ensure that five million beds are available in the Scottish NHS. Worse, the Scottish Government have done nothing to invest in flood defences to protect the country from the 2000 metre high tsunami that would follow a rock the size of Labour’s sense of entitlement plunging into the North Atlantic. The Daily Record prints an editorial saying that the demise of the SNP in the polls is only a matter of time.

Following the news that a teenager in Paisley had to wait three hours in A&E with a saucepan stuck on his head, the BBC’s Reporting Scotland broadcasts a special edition about the crisis in the NHS and the inability of the teenager’s maw to make the dinner…

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