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Wee Ginger Dug

Jim Murphy has got first dibs on the monkey with the red rosette, which gives him and his Labour colleagues sole monkey poo throwing rights in the referendum. For the duration, they’re turning a blind eye to monkey poo throwing from the other Unionist parties, like the Orange Order. But Jim is very upset that this referendum has unleashed troops of unelected who have discovered how to throw poo without him giving the orders. That’s worse than proper professional monkey poo throwing, it’s unauthorised monkey poo throwing – and to make things worse it’s by amateurs who’ve got a good aim. He’s even more upset that it seems to be panda poo and much of it is directed at him.

According to la Murph’s latest retaliatory, or possibly pre-emptive but we’ve given up counting, poo throw, evil panda poo throwing nationalists are bullying the poor defenceless shrinking violet that is…

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