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The Ego Factor

At some point yesterday, I, and millions like me received a secret communique from the High Laird of the Scottish Order, Flippin’ Eck Salmond. He instructed us via the previously undisclosed Scottish Internet to recite the Cybernat pledge against quislings, hunt down traitors to oor nation, and put special effort into monstering Claire Lally.

This required a bit of googling on my part, because I didn’t know who Claire Lally was. In my defence, since she’s a member of the Labour Shadow Cabinet there’s really no reason why I would. I follow politics.

Nevertheless, the secret orders from atop the Holy Rood were there to be followed. A fatwa had been declared and I would see it through, along with a billion-strong army of… You know, I just can’t be bothered with this. I’m too annoyed to joke about it.

Against all reason, I read an article concerning Scottish Independence in…

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